Saturday, 30 March 2013

21st Century Chivalry

A latent fearing atmosphere, its nature oppressive
Desolate castle brooding silently; still; asleep
This rock of protection hidden curtains darkness within engulfed
By a spite.  Here sits my love late at night staring mournfully
This, our Danae, cradled head, staring out at vast expanses wondering
Which god shall deliver her from her prison keep?

To yonder light he stands and stares, face grim, eyes full of grit
This light he can see burning, a candle burning
And a shadow he has fallen in love with, meticulous, complete; woman.
His heart sporadic, his head alive, his spirits high
Approaches this pistil holding aloft an incomplete passion
Cupped white and hot to dry in barren wastes

How an audience held captive long for deliverance of
True love’s fated kiss; destiny that hallowed tome
Emptiness, regret and that longing that claws at one’s chest
How we all anticipate the hero fighting over the black moat
Breaching the black walls, hard eyes and silver sword
A determination Canute would envy this forevermore

Only in the pages of fable, folklore, or the songs of bards
Or the flickering glitter of movie screens do these scenes unfold
In the cold darkness of reality, all is forgotten, neglected
The castle walls climb with moss, the hero is waylaid in the tavern
And imprisoned Danae in desperation claws the mortar from the walls
The candle burned to but a snub, no light, no hope, nothing more.

Friday, 29 March 2013

Will I come out of life alive?

Take a leap of faith
Some broken lines and promises to embrace
The darkness beyond the grave
Intangible souls too late to save

They say we're headed straight for hell
Though having never been there, how can they tell?
The guessing on their parts is a lie
But I guess they will find out when they die

Save my soul, please
Save my soul for me
A commodity I do not own
But something that can be bought and sold

A fire burning, clearing the dark
An idea from nothing erupts like a spark
An instant connection and a promise of better
Around our ankles and wrists, these chains and fetters

Claim my soul, please
Claim my soul for me
All I want to know is the reason why
I am only born to live and then to die

Is there light beyond the darkness that you preach?
Or wisdom in the lessons you feel you teach?
Or is my cynicism keeping your far from the reach
Of clutching fingers and minds scouring for a breach?

Save my soul, please
Save my soul for me
A commodity you cannot not own
But something that cannot be bought and sold

Guide me in towards the light.
Take me away from the night.
The price I pay, is it too high?
Will I come out of life alive?

A dream of the end

He crushed out his cigarette
Pulled the collar of his cheap coat around his ears
And trudged into the cold night
Chased by the sound of his footsteps
And his shadow

Rain fell in silver ribbons, puddles formed in the holes
On the street
He avoids the ones he can see
Others catch his feet like dark and groping hands
Water like ice cuts his boots to ribbons

Somewhere out there is a bed and a light
He used to sleep there
Kept warm at night by the allure
And promise of another day well kept
Somewhere to call home

Only fools live with complacency
The same fools who believe that forever
Is more than a word used to bond
A soul to a soul
Until the death inside tears us apart

The tombstone like an accusing finger
With words of dubious comfort
The measurement of a short life
And the tonnage of darkest guilt
Faded flowers and a toy never to see joy

Each flash of lightning, crash of thunder
And pelting stone of hail
Causes no more hurt; the cold, more a balm
To alleviate the inside burning
As his eyes scan only the ground

Another corner turned, empty alleyway
Where is the absolution? Where the Furies,
The deus ex machina, manipulation of fate?
Where is the end of the trouble, the easy solution
To splutter on the end of a blade?

Where, then, the assault from stealth,
The blunt smash at the back of his head
The fumble of hands; watch! Wallet! 
A kick in the face, the guts, the groin
The fading of running footsteps...

To have that moment of total recall
Images of his life played and replayed in the 
Theatre of his smashed and crushed skull
To blink, and blink and blink again
Beg for forgiveness when he deserves none

This Time

This time
Measured in grains of sand
Poured from Apathy’s hand
Saved in the pages of memory
And history
Relentless march
Down doomed streets
How we repeat our mistakes
Caught on a promise, a lie

This time
In a castle’s keep
Lost the vestiges of sleep
A princess dreams of a crown
A prince
Unstoppable time
Only forwards
How we delude ourselves
Caught on a promise, a lie

No time for me
Drifting across a sad faced moon
I seek, but straws I reach
This time

When will I see?
Past mistakes
When will I learn?
And let go
Caught on a promise, a lie
Someone else’s faith
A ship
Sailing by

There is no truth, no absolution
Only the promise of hereafter
Yet we each blunder forward
To reach that single point
This time...

Body, Mind and Soul

How can you leave it all
To Body, Mind and Soul?
How can you turn your back at all?

When the children cry
In the frozen sky;
Will you carry me at all?

When the promise is gone
And we’re left alone
With nothing left to say.

How can it be so hard
To make that mark?
Why won’t it ever wash away?

Your body is sold;
Your mind is gone
You’ve crucified your soul.

The cards are down
You can turn around
But can you ever let it go?

Open my blind eyes
To those burning fires
No sanctuary gold.

Why must your sun die
Before I realise
That darkness of the toll…

The last chance to try
To stem the sacrifice
Of Body, Mind, and Soul…

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

If only the dead sleep soundly

If only the dead sleep soundly
Nestled in dreamless dark
Under oceans black as endless starless nights
Would we come, you and I
Greet with hearts devoid of love fire
Upon broken shipwrecked shores of light?

Nay, there is no soft remorse
Of dying candles burned low
As our last soft breath quits parted lips
But some kind of pleasure
Our fruitless union
Beggared, the plunder of sunken galleon ships

Thrown unto these waves
Un-navigated the seas wild
We throw our lot to fates miserly hand
Behind us the swollen sun
That face of burning glory
Chasing our shadows over barren land

If each new beginning from an end begun
Each promise alight from a false tongue
Beggared belief; what is true?

Token love, token gold
And all these tokens stripped from my soul
No token for Charon; and none for you

Monday, 25 March 2013


Morning sun rising
Sun shining
Bright shining sun
Flashing, burning, piercing
Cast away slumbering
Sleep the sleeper's slumber
Fighting, falling, crying
Morning dawning sky

Don't believe every word they said
They're playing games inside your head...

One day at a time

It’s a long way between here and there
The week passes slowly
It’s all I can bear
Take comfort in small things
The odd cryptic message
Jump when the bell rings

Taking things
One day at a time
I know it’s hard, the distance between us
Here and there
One day at a time
Setting things in order, making things right
Race through the day to prolong the night

All along, the longing feels like pain
Winter, her cruel talons cutting
I can’t explain
Words seem to fail me
A misplaced “I love you”
Salt tears like the sea

Still taking things
One day at a time
Measure the distance, the distance between us
Here and there
One day at a time
Setting words to music, making things right
Race through the day, savour the night

Taking things
One day at a time
Capture the moment, a moment in time
Far and away
One day at a time
No time for excuses, making things right
Cast aside darkness, make a new light

If I can make one promise at night before I fall asleep
It is to treasure your heart, these words, this love, to keep.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Gunfighting for God

Flat land baked beneath a one-eyed sun
We pray, waste our breath, that rain will come
A drop of sweat rides the arc of a windswept brow
Hands dip, guns drawn, hear them shout

One man fought for honour, the other for some pride
Another fought for Jesus, another for his lies
The reason was irrelevant, the outcome was the same
Blood soaked the parched earth, a libation to this game

The gravedigger cut the soil, six feet down
The mourners lowered the boxes one by one into the open ground
Grim, the priest with Book and Cross prayed for their souls
Smiling, the undertaker dressed in black counted out his gold

And over this, in stately silence, rode the golden sun
Chasing across the sky from morning 'til the day is done
A silent witness to the eternal struggles playing out below
But powerless to intervene in God's pathetic side show

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Nobody Wants Me

Summer lovers holding hands
Happy trails of smiles along the stands
Skipping to the beat of their own music
But nobody wants me

Into shadow I fade, an empty cage
A silent ensemble waiting to play
Holding aloft my sense of well-being
But nobody wants me

It’s true
They prepare you for that job interview
They give you the tools
To pass the test
But my heart freezes in my chest
It is easy to repeat what was said
And rewrite what was written
Without thinking
Someone else’s words always sounded better
Someone else’s thoughts are much clearer
Than the traffic jam in your head

So from the lonely distances afar,
In the feeble light of dying stars
When all is said and done
Nobody wants me

Friday, 22 March 2013

Why can't you be happy?

Oh, still your flapping tongue,
Brazen harpy.
Why can't you be happy, you have what you want!
It is not you in the cold, in the weather,
Toiling to get through
Denied that which he loves.
Why come at me with your vileness?
Why come at me at all?
I am not stone, but no blood shall you drain from me.
Time is my ally for now, time is your enemy
Quit chewing at the bone that has no more meat
You turned your back, you walked away
YOU not I.
I'm paying my dues
I'm paying your dues
Can't you be happy with that?

It's not enough to strip the skin from the flesh
The flesh from the bone
You want more
Forget it.
If you're not happy, the fault is hardly mine
I shall not accept the blame of your folly
Nor you, mine
Go play with your new toys
I no longer care
You're not even a shade with your false friendship
And barbed rejoinders

Go then.
Just go.
You had your chance, you had your chances.
I lost count
And just closed my eyes
And counted the ways I am lucky
That it was "fuck you" rather than "good bye."

Eye to eye

The night is dark
Hides the tears forming in my eyes
That I don't want you to see
Your words come
Knife blows to my heart
You're slowing bleeding me

Is this the end?
Eyes downcast to my shoes
I won't beg another chance but
Seal this with a kiss
Then will turn to walk away
There shall be no final dance

So it seems my heart misplaced
My love was in vain
I cannot see a way forward
Chase my tears in the rain
At least eye to eye, everything is true

Eye to eye, we cannot lie
But nor are we beholden to tell the truth
The irony, it seems
Take what you believe
To be true

This is the end
Lonely I stand alone at the edge
You call my name
But I'm not listening any more
I've read the lines between the lines
No longer want to play the game

It's a long way down
I shall remember
As I fall
The first time we met
Before your smile turned upside down

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

A Simple Lie

Nobody is perfect
All of the time
Double meaning of whispered words
Craft a simple lie

Love stuck to the roof of my mouth
Gentle breezes of a fire fanned
If the grass were blue and the sky, green
All would be as I had planned

But no one wants to expose their minds
For fear of inviting pain
Of having to feel uncomfortable
Of being washed in cold, dark rains

Nobody is perfect
All of the time
It’s easier to say what others want to hear
Craft a simple lie

Tuesday, 19 March 2013


Can you find a way
Can you find a way to love me
Or am I too far
Am I too far away
From what you want

I tried being honest
But no one gets honest
You said, "If I wanted vanilla I'd just
Buy the ice cream."
That must be your way of saying no.

Can you find a way
Can you find a way to humour me
Or am I just
Am I just not your type
You don't even want to be friends

I tried leaving messages
But you don't read messages
Of course, when you say frog
There I am leaping
That is your way of saying yes

Why am I
Why am I struggling to understand
To understand
I was just there for a moment
Then cast aside, forgotten

How are you
How are you able to
Able to
In my mind, for this moment
Cast aside, the idea now rotten

Like me, yes
Until something new came along


You've been so good about all this now
I can barely get a word in edgewise
Your excitement is brighter than spotlights piercing the darkness

Yes, I like the way your eyes glow
And how your lips curl into a smile
Though I'm left to ponder my place in these schemes

To spark out in the spur of the moment
To invite risk and the likelihood of hurt
I hate to admit it and am loath to feel it,
Spontaneous I am not.

You've been so good about all this now
But I know that minds can wander
Precarious, my grip in your reality, as mine may just be a dream

Monday, 18 March 2013

I drew a line

I drew a line on an empty page
The line became a smile
I drew a line that stretched for eternity
I drew a line that went for a mile

I drew a line on the desert sand
To mark the places I have been
Other lines for other times
And others for faces I have seen

I drew a line I couldn’t cross
I drew a line across my skin
I marked a path so clear and true
A line between my needs and whims

I drew a line that promised love
Another steeped in hate
Yet more lines of promises broken
A cold hearth, an empty grate

All these lines that I have marked
Lines to make my history
To mark moments of deepest glee
And the darkest chains of misery

Have I learned a lesson from my pencil’s scrawls?
Or shall I continue on the lane
Of drawing words, inspirations
Will I take them to the grave?

I have drawn lines all my life
Is this all that is left for me?
I have no room left for guilt at all, why should I
Apologise for being me?

Sunday, 17 March 2013


There, she lays, broken she lays
Crying she lays
Bloody, she cries, help me!
Tears she cries, tears.
Desolation, deprivation; innocence… stolen

There she lays, quickens, curses… sobs.

A chill wind like a knife, the knife
That spliced her heart
That cleft.
The intrusion, the scars, the shadows

There be the moon, solemn, a witness, but silent
As silent as she who lays, who cries
Who shivers in the bounds of violation
Without a voice

There, she lays, broken she lays
Crying she lays
Bloody, she cries, help me!
Tears she cries, tears.
Desolation, deprivation; innocence… lost

She was a child, a child she was
And now
Thrust into cold arms, maturity
Tainted, impure; so much like the truth
The wretched truth
Indisputable, and yet, unchallenged

In the cold she lies by herself
Afraid, lonely but angry
At herself; in the darkness
The promise of life, stolen
The promise of love, beaten to a pulp
In an act of consummation
Her resolve, her life

Scattered in the wind, her life
A seed, withered
She lays in the dark and she hates
Inviting, delighting, she hates smiles
And flowers

There, she lays, broken she lays
Crying she lays
Bloody, she cries, help me!
Tears she cries, tears.
Desolation, deprivation; innocence… buried

A single tear on a silent prayer
Shining through midnight masses
Down she goes, her soul, extinguished

She cannot fight, her trust
Cannot form the words, her lips
Her eyes can never comprehend
Silence damned silence!
Damned god awful ringing silence; loud, deafening, a roar of the ocean
And still she lays, picks herself up
Her pride demolished
Her heart, shattered like an ice shard

She feels cold, but it is hatred; and fear
Aye, the fear that makes her double over in terror
To dry wretch; her last human act
Before she becomes a machine
To draw a line
To her destruction
When nobody can look her in the eyes
And tell her the truth.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

An Angel in the Rain

An angel I saw in the misty rain
Drops of gossamer in pearls glistening on her skin
An averted gaze, thin lipped smile
Not quite enough to hide her pain

I could approach and break the spell
But my words, too coarse, would break the silence
Settled peacefully over the world we share
Shatter the air like the peal of a death knell

Yet I can't wait, for waiting is surely slow death
But action would be swift; but less cruel
Either way, I can only stand in this cover
And try to disguise the rush of my every breath

But too late, the angel in the rain
Turns away
Into the mist she disappears
And I am standing alone with just that lingering
Fleeting sense of longing, biting
My tongue, rough, with malice
Cursing my stupidity, inaction, indecision
Cursing my cowardice

Would it not have been better to speak my mind,
Than to bury the words, unspoken?
Surely a risk is worthy of taking,
Even when risking my heart broken?


I hear voices inside my head
Like I’ve mistuned the radio.
They’re getting louder and louder inside there
And I think I want to go home.
I see the people stopping to stare at me…
I see their faces; they’re laughing at me…
But they’re all too blind to see…
That the voices are everywhere.

There’s the voice inside your brain
Telling you this won’t hurt (a bit).
There’s the voice that comes from behind you
When you’re late for work.
There’s the hissing tune before you close your eyes and go to bed…
And the damn thing doesn’t shut up until you’re dead...

I hear voices inside my head
Like a bad tuned FM station in my head.
I think I can just make out what it is they’re saying.
On my knees before you now, if you’d only hear my praying.

There’s the voice of truth crossing its fingers
And telling lies.
There’s the voice of reason burning bridges
And breaking ties.
There’s the voice on the other end of a telephone…
There’s the voice inside that wants you to come home.

I hear voices inside my head.
You offer me advice; I’ll take a drink instead.
Something stronger than the coffee I had this morning,
Something to keep my mind on track, help me to ignore
These voices in my head…

Wednesday, 13 March 2013


a sliver of glass
an open mind
a dripping tap
a waste of time
a silver coin
some scarlet pain
front temporal lobe
the pouring rain
promised love
a mended heart
a life to end
an end to start
the first refrain
a song is sung
the gun is shot
the race is run
a stitch in time
the empty cup
tried to hide
but fucked it up
no end in sight
no light in mind
a borrowed dream
no luck to find
my love is dry
my words are hard
race to no end
back to the start
forever old
forever new
forever bold
forever blue
a crazy smile
wink of an eye
in a little while
we all will die
turn your face
towards the rain
come inside
into the shade
do not tarry
waste not your time
a one way street
a single line
mountain stream
craggy hill
picture frame
window sill
cold heart
broken mind
old men
still life
work hard
work long
last dance
swan song


Fishing lines of broken lies, tea cups in the sand
Scattered dreams, so surreal it seems, a lifetime written in shorthand
A scrawl of scribbled lines from another time
Borrowed lines from an ancient play are they
Signs of mental decay?

Who put all this junk in my head?

Line of palm and crook flailing of forgotten times
Blasted pipes and sewage lines
Each day is a struggle to know what we are
Our transient follies, our loves, our despairs
Do you ever get the feeling that nobody cares?
Springtime cleaning; attic space for the defunct…

But still my head collects all of this junk.

Laughter, shaming, crying; to care is to show you love
Your brother folds his arms and looks the other way while
Your sister runs for the hills and returns with a babe
And even before you get the chance to talk

You have to wade through all this junk…

Can I ever be free of the junk in my head?

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

When you're a fool


Alone in the night, by moonlight
Under stars and yellow streetlights
Burning bright
Set the scene… reverse angle, camera

Dark, it’s dark outside, closed eyes
Panic makes me late
Nervous sweaty tears and shrieks
I try not to think!

I clutch my toothbrush tight
It’s all right, too bright
Turn off the glaring light
Bathroom mirror steamy dreamy so slippery
Floored, galore, karaoke bars and more
My smile is wrong I should have left it home
But the hole in my pocket is all I can show

Ah! Tea please, Daisy likes the drains
Takes two aspirin takes two pains
Mm, honey, honey sweet thing, face so fair
I can’t believe that you’re not here…

But my fingers hurt and my scalp itches
And my girlfriend’s friends are a pair of bitches
But that’s all right because I can’t hear them
I can’t hear them at all
And that’s fine
I’ll turn off the light, goodnight
Sleep tight…

Whispers chitter chatter on my nerves
Isn’t she hot stuff? Cut a serve
Fly, dizzy solider, glide, ride and hide
Oh my nervous tic in my left eye.
Hm, laughter sounds so cool
When you’re a fool…

Monday, 11 March 2013

why can't everything be easy?

I want to hear the truth
I want to hear your lies
What I want is to hear
That everything will be all right
You’ve dealt from the pack
And I haven’t looked at my cards
But I will throw all I’m worth
Into the warmth of your arms
Sometimes a gamble is worth it
We might as well try
For I’ve said it’s too late
For regrets when you die
And you’re kicking and screaming
And chasing your dreams
While what we are fighting for
Splits at the seams
And the fruit of your anger
Born of a seed
Adds insult to injury
Cos when you cut me
Don’t I bleed?
My glass is half empty
My glass is half full
And I’m drowning in sorrow
And I’m feeling a fool
Because I said how I’m feeling
I put my thoughts into words
And you’ve denied my emotions
You think it’s absurd
You don’t know what you do want
But you know what you don’t
You think you will know it one day
But I know you won’t
You’re hoping to find
What really hasn’t been lost
You will sell your soul
To finance the cost
Now I’m begging you darling
Please, do not go
At least have the heart inside you
To please tell me no.

And so it begins again...

How could we ever say we will be friends?
Too much water has flowed
And the bridges have been burned
We’re on either side of the river
And the banks have burst

How could you tell me you loved me?
When all I am feeling is hurt...
There’s too much temptation
Going back may be easy
But have the lessons been learned?

And so it begins again...

We had our reasons
To go our own ways
Like the changing seasons
Like night shifts into day

We had our chances
To mend our past ways
But the book was always closed
And remains so to today

How could you tell me you loved me?
And on the same breath...
Say how you despise me...
And yet, I am all that is left?
Time only goes forward
From birth until death

And so it begins again...

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Finger painting

I remember crossing a highway once...
and feeling the wind of the cars flicking my shirt...
...warm wind, dry, like the breathing of desert creatures...
Of course in dreams it is always real this disconnection
Burnt orange skies and clouds like mackerel scales
And trees leaning to the sun, their arms like screams

I would like to do finger painting...
That is honest art, feeling that coldness in the lines of my palms
As daubs of blue and green and red shape my fantasy
Formless like the ideas that are imprisoned in my skull
Wanting to come out; wanting freedom

I cannot remember her face anymore...
But can still feel her warm skin
Once I was the palette upon which she sculpted works of nameless beauty
While my dreams were of forever
Hers were of then and now, snatches of the present
A freedom she wanted to fill without ties

The puerile joy of finger painting is innocence, a regression
Sensation, not imagination
Or rehearsed lines to a symbiotic crowd
Spontaneous, a “fuck you” of squalls and arcs
Purely emotive bleeding colours
Oh... what exquisite release...

Waving my arms in the air

We all live with our eyes closed
Pretending we know who we are
I’ve got a surprise for you all
It’s just not that easy trapped inside this jar

Waving my arms in the air and calling out somebody’s name
I think it’s yours, I think it’s yours
But you think I’m insane

Watch the tumbles of the parachute falling from the sky
Buried like an axe hatchet between closing eyes
We scream aloud, fear, fear!  Sssshhhh…
Listen!!!  Can you hear the water trickling down the gutters
Melted snow, drip, drip, dripping?
Tried to run across the ice
Slipped, slipped, slipping…

Waving my arms in the air and calling out somebody’s name
I think it’s yours, I think it’s yours
But you think I’m insane

We all live with our eyes closed
We think that we are sane
We mow our lawns for the twentieth time
And turn over in our graves

I’m happy to take life as it comes
With a wink and a smile
But I’m waving my arms in the air and calling out somebody’s name
Why are you running away?
I only want to talk to you
I only want to talk
I only want to talk to you

But it is hard, so hard, so hard
When you look the other way
Waving my arms in the air…