Memories

I went back to places we visited
Long ago, or only a few months back
Maybe to reminisce bring a vain smile to my face
Capture anew, fragmentary, that old spark

Going back made me feel old
Perhaps it was only just the chill of winter's breath
On my exposed neck, no collar had my jacket
And each barren tree grey-limbed, close to death

Like memories, really, those untrustworthy motes
In the brain, swirling like changing tides
Oceans exploding in confusion, furious churning
Each memory a picture painting a thousand lies

Going back is like admitting defeat
Trying to find purpose in casual things you've said
Deciphering long gone messages for double meanings
Like a grave robber digging up the dead

Best to let these things lie, give them peace
Bury them, if you have to, but oh... not I
I'm simply too tenacious in wanting to plunder the truth
Even that which is most obvious, easy to deny

Maybe there were soft looks, underneath the diamond cutting glance
Those last few looks you shot at me before walking away
But only fools walk backwards unmindful of the peril
Only fools chase memories like the night chases the day.

Loneliness

It’s cold outside, I can feel it in my bones

But I came out here to be alone

Don’t be offended if I tell you to leave

You’d want solitude if you’ve seen what I’ve seen

Yet loneliness is not a stranger to me

She warms my bed at night

Talks in whispers in my head at times

Walks beside me as the years go by

Don’t be afraid to call my name

The one who writes upon this page

We’ve all felt pain, we’ve all had friends

We’ve all had fights to pay our debts

It’s cold inside, I feel it in my bones

But I came in here to be alone

Don’t be upset if I tell you to leave

But you’d want solitude if you’ve been where I’ve been.

Pure

Pure heart

I reach out

To touch those silken tresses

Gliding through my fingers

Such soft caresses

This foundered love

Going nowhere

Quiet infatuation

I can only stop and stare

Aching too much

Unspoken words

Longing for perfection in azure eyes

A beating heart

This frozen wasteland I despise

My foundered love

Captured in jagged rhyme

I catch my tongue too often

No, this is not the time

          I could lay here in the light of morning

Watching you sleep

Every curve of you etched forever in my mind

The treasure of our time together

Every precious smile

Every touch, every kiss

How ethereal in this gold of dawn,

Your hair floating on your pillow, a halo

The rise and fall of your chest

Your breathing, a song

But this is not my time, this is not my fate

I am caught in a strung out moment, a limbo

I am being told to wait

And while my heart aches and I yearn for this again

I know that should I cage the impatience

And count off the days, and wait

Someday, as pure as the cold ice of a glacier

More powerful than the tsunami that breaks

I will hold you in the fortress of my arms

I will do whatever it takes

I will do whatever it takes...

Black and Blue

It's hard to slow the thoughts
Of an over active mind, caught in a moment
Running it again and again
That one precious memory, a watershed event
There a slip on the pavement, rust in the chain mail
In pride's armour, a dent
Brought low by the innocent slip of a loaded tongue
Or a pen dipped in poisoned ink and dragged
Across my soul
Bitter like the taste of ashes in my mouth
A gaping wound, yet a bloodless hole
How easy to walk the shoes into the ground
Prepare that journey for another
It's not yours, you're the interloper
Tiding them over until they find feet of their own
And march without you to somewhere new
Leaving you with your head in grey clouds
And your soul battered and black and blue.

What is a word?

What is a word, but a thought trapped in time?

Seeming to float, with myriad meanings, to float on an invisible line.

What is a voice, but a thought, in sound?

A flaying of reason, a reason to float, a thought, perhaps drowned?

What is courage, if yet, I cannot speak?

Where go my feelings, if I fail, become weary… weak?

Who am I, but a transient pilot… a soul…?

What is a soul?  I think you know.

You’ve gazed upon mine and I on yours.

You can’t touch it, can’t feel it,

Can’t buy it, can’t steal it.

It nestles, they say in the heart.

What is heart?

A million fingers point. A million sighs are breathed.

In the end, it only matters if a heart given is received.

If one becomes two, and two become one…

Then to those two concerned, half the work is done…

A thought

Sometimes I wonder what it would take
To make you see me
As I see you
And not just some shadow creature from the corner of your eyes
How I long to be the focus of your attentions
Not just the stand in
The near enough, but not quite
The "let's just be friends" guy.

Home

I scattered bread for the birds
A feast for the people
Charity
That begins in a brown paper bag
Stepping over sleepless forms in the street
On my way to the subway
I met Jesus on three corners already
Shouting up a storm
But is there any way I can find a way to get myself back home?

I don't want to know your problems
Frankly I don't care
Hostility
You breathe it like oxygen, gun muzzled
Handbags crazy shoppers at Wallmart
Bargains to the needy, five fingers
This rap, is over done
Riding out the storm
Is there any way I can find a way to get myself back home?

Home; that promise of salvation
A secret place I can be myself
Anonymity
Don't claim to know me, because you've read
My smile, I can turn on you like a snarling dog
Just back off, give me space to breathe
I'll be back soon enough
Dancing in the storm
Is there any way I can find a way to get myself back home?