Catharsis

Why are you staring at me?

You make me nervous

I can’t hold my teacup properly

My pinkie is misplaced

I think I spilled it, mind

There’s so much to live for

But I haven’t the patience to wait

Why are you glaring at me?

You’re making me angry

I’m holding my teacup tightly

My head is aching

I feel it breaking, kind

Words cannot placate me

I’m past the point of no return

I feel rage red as blood

I want to break

I want to destroy

I curse

I swear

Tear out my hair

Is it for the sake of attention?

I see your docile eyes stare

Indolence… despair?

An edge is creeping into your voice…

As if you really care

But I can’t hear you

I’d just ignore you

If I could

I’d hurt you

Break you into pieces

And scatter you to the winds

This madness enfolds me

Blinds me

Binds me

A scream from my lips

Electric fingertips

Are you afraid?

You are afraid

I’m afraid too

Afraid that I might hurt you…

I close my eyes, ignore your cries

Finally I am satisfied

I leave you where I put you

And watch the cars passing in the street

I cross my arms in silence and upon contemplation

My catharsis is

complete.

The Last Mistake

I think the last mistake was the worst to make

Anyway

It is done, over, I have to move on

Or be crushed by the past

I am sure that last mistake will break my back

But still

It is done with, it is over and I have to

Put it behind me

I have to swap the shoulder under which my burden’s carried

Have to look up and see the blue sky

No regrets they say, and yet, within this emptiness I feel

I know that “no regrets” is just a lie

I think the last mistake was too easy to make

Anyway

It is done, over, I have to learn not to say

What is on my mind

Am certain that the last mistake will be the last I make

I am determined

To set it right next time, I must not compromise

Or walk someone else’s line

I have to measure myself and know my worth

I have to fight in order to survive

No regrets they say, and yet, no sooner had I said it

I knew “I love you” was just a lie

Broken China

Close your eyes, but it won’t go away

The words in the air, dark and thick like stains

I see you guessing, trying to mend your lies

Behind us both, doors slam on better times

Our empty promises won’t fill a broken cup

Yet we both pour in vain to reach the top

We claw the walls, searching for a grip

Don’t hold your tongue if the words seem to fit

From a distance, everything looks beautiful

Until up close, you see the bruises and the scars

You see the cover, the façade, the shimmering shell

And the first glimpse of the pallid worm writhing within

Yea, though I believe in light and I believe in hope

And though I try to avoid pain the best of times

I know that some things are broken beyond repair

Like the broken china in the aftermath

So I guess this is where the line has to be drawn

Not just a toe dragged across the sand

We should lay the pieces of our love to rest

Like the broken china in the aftermath

Sands of Time

 You know the truth is all you can see with your eyes

You know that belief can be stronger than lies

You know that in your mind there has to be God though only for a little time

Try to see it from my point of view; my peace of mind

You see the truth with eyes that are open wide

You know the truth is what you decide

The pain always ends in its own way in its own time

And you know Time passes always in a straight line

You know a bullet can’t change a point of view

You know an army is powerless against you

The strongest backs are broken by a single word

While wars are begun with the casting of a single stone

You listen to the people preaching what they think is right

You know a candle holds off even the darkest night

You’d lose an arm for a sack of shining gold

You know it’s never too late to sell me your soul

You know that some things can anaesthetise

You accept that society wants you to be paralysed

You know that you’re easier to manage that way

And you’re not foolish enough of your thoughts to say

You know the system takes humourlessly your criticism

You open your heart to indulge in the catechism

You know in your heart with every second that passes by

That in the not too distant future, you’re going to die

You know that if there’s a heaven then there’s a hell

You don’t doubt that, I know, I can tell

My foolish friend, to have listened to this much

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch!

Gravity

Promise me
That if I fell, your gravity would hold me safe
In your arms
And promise me
All will be well, that your love will keep me warm

Can you feel that
Can you feel the beating of my heart
As we spin around and around
This dance that we perform
A short distance between us
Could be chasms miles apart

Hold me
Let me feel the gravity of your touch
In your arms
Hold me
Tell me everything will be all right

Can you hear that
Can you hear me whispering your name
As we clamber about in the dark
This dance of shadows
Each around the other spinning
Knowing our love is not a game

Gravity, pulling and pushing
As the moon dances around the Earth
The sacred ring of propriety
Measuring our worth
I hold onto this periphery, it is all I can do
Knowing that which attracts like a magnet
Also like a magnet repels

Any Colour You Choose

You say you only want to talk, that’s fine with me.

Talk is cheap and everything you say is free.

You offer me your soul as some kind of redemption.

It’s as cheap as the words you speak, sad salvation.

Can you look me in the eye as you spin your web of lies?

Does the sun still glow bright in the sky?

Can you deliver your miracles to the people in need?

Can you cure my heart from this terminal disease?

Black is a nice shade of white, if you don’t mind.

Any colour is all right if you want to hide...

Any colour is nice to a man who can’t see...

Any colour you choose is fine by me...

Don’t Make Me Love Again

Bitter is the taste of defeat on my tongue

Though I have never had regrets before

Maybe you’re the first one

It hurts to think of how I tried to make you smile

And behind my back you’re laughing now

You have been laughing all the while

For years and years I’ve tried to hide

Behind my shell

Sideways stepped to claim my prize

Wore out my day pass to hell

And now I wear this cloak of desperation

There is only so much, until...

This silence that now holds me thrall

This protection behind my bunker wall

I will enclose my heart, trapped within

No longer will I let myself sing

I struggle to get the right words out

I fight reason with this weight of doubt

If there is a refuge somewhere, show me now?

I want to escape...

Now I see you... you’re smiling

The cradle of your arms... inviting

The raft of my life tossed on these high seas

Rescue me; I plead.

Let us not play with words of hurt

Let us not play with words of blame

I take the knife you pass me, handle first

Only I take it by the blade

The blood I draw is flamed red

Of the mixed messages inside my head

I am writing poetry in the sand

On this page the words are perfect

But where the greedy ocean eats the land

My words I have to forfeit

This silence that now holds me thrall

This protection behind my bunker wall

I will enclose my heart, trapped within

No longer will I let myself sing

I struggle to get the right words out

I fight reason with this weight of doubt

If there is a refuge somewhere, show me now?

And in the crystal shards of time

Once where I drew a line

In the cracked faces of age and space

I must begin a new race

For the past is gone, the past is dead

But the memories alive inside my head

Threaten to drag me into the black

But I cannot return; I must not go back!

And when this evening’s work is done

And the moon once more is claimed by the sun

Maybe it would be for the best

To lay this broken love to rest

Don’t make me love again (this love, dying)

Don’t make me love again (this love, dead)

Don’t make me love again (these words, buried)

Don’t make me love again (my soul at rest)